check it out our google latitudes are spooning
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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