ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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