Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploringâ€
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
