How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
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Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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