i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
