You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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