If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
