Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
