His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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