if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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