how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
