Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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