so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
