some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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