haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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