Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize