East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We just shotgunned beers for America
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
