Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
