I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize