you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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