she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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