I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was like eating out sand paper
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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