He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize