did you get engaged???
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
