Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just pee around me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
