yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
now i know why i became what i already was.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
