Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
