Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
