he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize