I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
