paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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