I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
