Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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