Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
