its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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