I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
