So drunk, too bad you don't want this
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
