New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
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were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize