I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
