oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
