just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize