I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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