i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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