I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
