Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
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Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
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That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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