oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
