Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
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Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
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I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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