Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
