do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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