Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
