considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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