you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize