Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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