dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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