He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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