i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
