Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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