Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
