This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
