I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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