I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i think i just lost a toe
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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