At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
