Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize