I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
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WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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