she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
