so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
