he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
