Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
